I am a writer and a Mommy. I am a devout Jew. These are the most important books I have read: The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell translation. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Living Inspired by Akiva Tatz. My kitchen would suggest I'm a closet carny, as would my love of Branson.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Good Bye 2008

This past year was a wild ride if ever I had one. It was not a typical year for me in terms of the choices I made, but I'm back to feeling myself and am quite a bit wiser.

It was a year of learning hard lessons.

The thing is, I had a few thorns in my side and no matter how hard I tried I could not understand why. So I followed some Taoist advice that I have recently shared with my son while putting together Lego sets.

Sometimes you have to break it in order to fix it.

Now I know what makes marriage last. Amazing that I had to get divorced to understand this.

Do you know? It is commitment. Seems obvious, right? Well, I did not understand this concept until recently.

Commitment does not have bottom lines. It is complete and without stipulation. A real marriage ends when someone dies and not before, no matter what the lawyers claim is possible.

I don't know if I'll ever get married, but if I do it will be a real commitment. I will hope for the best, but I will know that whatever comes my marriage will weather it because of my will; because I have made a commitment.

In marriages that last, there is no other common glue. There is commitment and that is all.

Having said that, let me share what I think I've learned is all you need for a happy marriage.

1. Love
2. Respect
3. Sense of humor
4. Good sex

I believe this is the formula in order of importance. I don't think anything can be missing for real happiness, but I'm pretty sure you can get by for many years on 1 and 2 and certainly for many, many years on 1, 2 and 3.

Any thoughts?

I'll get back to food tomorrow.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot TRUST. That was my lesson for the year, trust & forgiveness.

EC said...

May next year be calmer, wiser and beneficial to you (and to me as well).

anxiousdog said...

They say that as soon as the big D word comes out your marriage is 50% less likely to survive. Gotta take the option off the table, as hard as that is. It's even harder the 2nd time around.

Love is a choice. That's what most people need to know. You won't always be feeling the lovey-dovey feelings, so you have to choose to love the annoying side too. :)

I agree with the fun/laughter part. Have fun... laugh at every thing. Kiss often. And all that mushy stuff.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget communication! Your significant other should be your friend AND lover! I hope you find someone in the near future that meets all your expectations.