I am a writer and a Mommy. I am a devout Jew. These are the most important books I have read: The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell translation. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Living Inspired by Akiva Tatz. My kitchen would suggest I'm a closet carny, as would my love of Branson.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Valentine's Day (or Things You Should Know about Married Men/Women)

I was busy this weekend, but I have wanted to post on this subject for a long time. It is really one of those posts that should only be published right around a romantic holiday.

I say this because by now I have known countless women and men who have been involved with someone who is married and as different as these folks are, their stories are tediously always the same.

So I figured something out and in case you don't know, there is a set of lies that married people tell in order to get you to sleep with them.

And yes, sorry they are ALWAYS lies:

1. My wife/husband cheated on me (or is cheating).
2. My wife/husband never has sex with me.
3. My wife/husband doesn't love me and/or never did.

Sometimes it gets even better...
4. I never sleep with my wife/husband (except when I got her/he got me pregnant the other day!!!)
5. I love you so much and I want to/am going to be with you (except that I would never leave my wife/husband)

And dear ones, here is the worst one you will ever hear. It is mad lib styles so forgive me for leaving blanks, but when you hear something like this, run for your life:

6. Your___ is so much ___er than my wife/husband's ____.


(This is just what I hear....)


Anonymous said...

Are you saying you would never pursue a married man even if you knew he would leave his wife to marry you? Question: Should divorced women use their maiden or married name after the divorce is final?

Foodie said...

I'm saying I would never pursue a married man.

Answer to your question about names: I don't know.