I am a writer and a Mommy. I am a devout Jew. These are the most important books I have read: The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell translation. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Living Inspired by Akiva Tatz. My kitchen would suggest I'm a closet carny, as would my love of Branson.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Julie and Julia

I'm thinking about taking my little ones to see this movie. Maybe it will inspire all of us.

It's been a good weekend. I've spent a lot of time dreaming.

I look at the third chapter of The Tao to understand where I am in life:

The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think that they know.

Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place.

In other words, outside of work and kids, I am utterly confused most of the time.

What am I supposed to be doing? What do I want? Who am I? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

And yet. I don't feel some kind of struggle. I just have an enormous amount of faith.

I feel like keeping my head down. This is the time for me to work hard and focus on my kids. The other pieces will fall into place.

It's not my personality to go this way actually. I'm more of a want it and go get it kind of a person but I find myself deep in the embrace of a force that is holding me still, confused, knowing less and less. It is odd, but my faith only grows.

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