I am a writer and a Mommy. I am a devout Jew. These are the most important books I have read: The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell translation. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Living Inspired by Akiva Tatz. My kitchen would suggest I'm a closet carny, as would my love of Branson.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

A miracle

When people talk about miracles I think of a baby being born.  It's true, as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a mother.

So much so in fact that finding a husband I loved and got along well with was not a consideration in my 20s.  I just looked for someone who loved and wanted kids and who would be a good Dad.

From the time I can remember I always wanted five kids.  Some girls and some boys. 

I have one boy and one girl.  Honestly, I feel the my cup is overflowing.   I am thankful every day for my two babies and am amazed at how blessed I am to know them.

Many days I think about having more kids.  Adopting two more in fact.  Two kids who have been raised by someone else.  They are not babies.  The thought should be daunting but it is not.  Even as I come home from work exhausted and wanting to go straight to bed, I know that the joy I have in my two would be double with two more.

I'm thinking about all this because of a wish I have that I've had for many years.  I want to see a baby be born - live and in person.

Maybe it is weird that this is literally a dream of mine, but it is and I think I've always wanted it.

Having my own probably only made me wish this more because I saw the faces of both my husband and the nurse and Doctor.  Even a maternity nurse and Doctor who see babies born every single day had big smiles and the look of awe on their faces.

Of course I can understand their feelings but it's different when it's your child and your body.

The happiest moment of my life when they showed me Noah.  It was the same when they handed me my girl.  But certainly I experienced their births as hard work.

I just want to be there to see a baby being born when I'm not the one birthing it.

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