So I'm about 17 weeks pregnant and I have to admit that this really is the reason I haven't blogged in four months. I mean, I always want to write. The concept of writer's block is to me the same as the idea of constipation. Sure, I've been constipated but I ate some fruit and drank a lot of water and that was that. What is writer's block? That can only come from a perfectionist, which I am not. I love to write and don't fear writing something terrible, as you know if you read my blog. I want to write short stories and novels and non-fiction how-to books. I think that my only goal for 2013 is to find a way to make a living as a writer. The reason is because people always say to do what you love and you will never work another day in your life and I really see the importance of this statement. I love my job and you aren't supposed to write about work on your personal blog anyway, but I really do love what I do. It's just that I love it the same way I love doing Cryptograms and other puzzles. I love it because it feels good to my brain, but that's different from the way I love writing. I have written this blog for five years now and I have missed it this fall - writing is something I will always love.
So I didn't write because the idea of writing about food made me sick and the idea of just writing whatever I wanted here made me guilty. I'm past the first trimester when you are ruled by hormones that make you insane and a constant exhaustion and nausea that makes you hate the idea of food (while for me it meant eating constantly at the same time). I can't even tell you what this baby wanted me to eat because I'm so embarrassed to put it into print. But just know that my husband declared with glee that the baby must be Christian. I bet there is a halacha that says you can eat whatever you want when you are pregnant because pregnant women are terrifying.
Anyway, I may try a little harder to start writing about food again and to include pictures again but I just don't think that many people read my blog anyway and I don't think any of them care what I'm eating. So I'm just going to write whatever I feel like writing about and we'll all see what happens.
Being pregnant and almost 40 means that you are much more worried about the health of your baby. It means you are possibly more tired than if you are 10 years younger, but I'm not sure about that. I didn't have much going on when I was pregnant with my first so I don't remember being too tired and because my first was a baby, the second pregnancy was beyond exhausting. So, this seems pretty fun compared to those two. I have older kids who can understand how I feel and don't mind if I'm too tired to put them to bed sometimes. They are incredibly helpful and have a lot of hilarious things to say about getting a new baby.
In general, I feel much better about being a Mom now. It's because I really know what is stupid to worry about. I know what is important and what doesn't matter and so I am much, much more relaxed than I was when I had my first babies.
Two things on my mind lately: gun control and Macy's perfume commercials. Why are A-list celebrities suddenly making perfume commercials for Macy's and why is no one but me talking about it? Is this as strange and new as it feels to me or am I totally out of touch with what stars do or worse, am I totally out of touch with who stars are? Are Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Penelope Cruz, Charlize Theron etc just old now and so they have to do these commercials? I wish I could find some answers.
As for guns....
Let's just do what Australia implemented in 1996:
People must demonstrate a justifiable need to have a weapon, meaning you are farmer or hunter who needs to use a rifle or a shotgun to control animal populations. Or you're a sport shooter. You may not own a handgun to protect yourself from home invasion.
Prohibit all automatic and semi-automatic weapons, and impose strict licensing rules. All sales require a background check and lengthy waiting period..
"At the heart of the reform was a gun buy-back program. More than 600,000 newly prohibited weapons, around a fifth of all firearms in Australia, were destroyed at a cost of nearly half-a-billion dollars."
There has not been one single mass shooting there since they did this.
That sounds good to me. And for those who scream that this is not what the government should do I say, this is called public safety which we do NOT have in this country anymore.