I am a writer and a Mommy. I am a devout Jew. These are the most important books I have read: The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell translation. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Living Inspired by Akiva Tatz. My kitchen would suggest I'm a closet carny, as would my love of Branson.

Monday, June 3, 2013

Best Husband in the World

I knew prior to this week that I had the very best husband in the world but I have to share what he has done this week to make it so amazing for me and to make me so amazed by him.

I can't share many details because he would not like that so I will stay high level with why I admire and appreciate him and love him so much.

It must be hard to watch the person you love struggle physically more and more each day not knowing when it will end or how it will end. Through that stress he did not leave my side, even to get one good night of sleep.

Nothing is more important to him or more fulfilling to him than his work but he found ways to be there for me, making me feel safe and reassured that I would not be alone when the time came.

When the time came he had fallen asleep for maybe two hours or so and had to help me get my kids up and secured with their Dad in the middle of the night so we could get quickly over the mountain to the hospital, both of us half awake and not sure what would happen.

I was in a lot of pain but I knew it was early on in the process. I tried to breathe through the pain and I was able to bear it for a few hours. Happily, I got some relief in the big tub full of hot water in our room.  Marshal sat right next to me at 4 in the morning waiting for an hour and he fell asleep sitting in the chair in the bathroom - I also fell asleep, but by 5 am I was ready to get an epidural to stop the pain, although the contractions were not doing much of anything.

My Dr. came in at 8 and broke my water but I had not progressed since 3 am and after waiting 4 more hours there was still no progress.  They tried giving me pitocin for a few hours but I still would not progress.  In fact, I had barely changed from 3 am until 3 pm  and so they said a c - section would be a good idea.

I can honestly say I would have continued to labor for another day if they had said that was the right thing to do because I had plenty of pain blockers so I was just waiting and sleeping.  But I also thought it would be great for my baby to have May 27th as a birthday and Memorial Day nonetheless!

We decided to go ahead with the surgery and they left us alone.  Before surgery Marshal was very sweet to me.  It's scary to have to have surgery  like this when you have not planned to and when you are not prepared to but in those moments Marshal let me know just how much he loved me and it was completely reassuring and gave me all the courage I needed.

He is a very private person but before they took me in he kissed me so many times right in front of the nurses and that really made me happy and made me feel incredibly loved just when I needed to feel that.

I prayed so much that day - prayed for labor to progress and for the baby to come out normally, prayed that the c-section would go smoothly, that the baby would be ok.

At the end of the day all we could do was offer prayers of thanks.  And my husband is excellent at this.  I have often thought, since I knew him at 17 that he should be a Pastor because he is so good at praying and religious inspiration.

This is our Jacob that Marshal made with me.


These are the beautiful flowers he brought me.

And he brought Jacob these little guys which are Daddy with his baby bear or maybe Mommy with her sugar bear.
He even went to the Japanese market to get me a bento and an onigiri.  

My dearest husband is not an insomniac or into staying up late and although this baby has been waking me up in one way or another all night for most of the last 9 months so that his arrival has not thrown me for a loop too terribly, I could see right away how hard it was on Marshal to be woken up all night long.  

I told him to feel free to sleep at home but he wanted to stay with me and honestly he was a huge help.  I could barely get out of bed so taking care of a newborn was quite difficult but he was there to help at every moment.

Staying in a hospital all week is very unpleasant under any circumstances and even though this hospital is known for being like staying in a hotel and it is absolutely wonderful, I was tired, in pain and completely out of sorts.  In spite of the circumstances under which we had this strange time of being sequestered together in a room for four days and nights, it was amazingly wonderful because I have the best husband in the world.

He made me laugh every day, made me smile, made me feel loved, adored and cherished absolutely.  It was the sweetest time we have shared just hanging out together and bonding, eating peanut butter and jelly on crackers and watching Arrested Development before we passed out for a couple of hours until Jacob was ready to be fed or changed.  

It is nice to be loved when you are skinny and look good and are in a good mood and can be good company but it is another thing entirely to be loved when you are a total mess and completely miserable and utterly vulnerable. Being loved then is inspiring.  

3 comments:

Average Jane said...

Congratulations!!!

Barb Domnanish said...

I've always known Marshal to be an amazing person. It is nice to see that the whole world can now know that also.

Olivier said...

Mazal tov