I am a writer and a Mommy. I am a devout Jew. These are the most important books I have read: The Tao te Ching by Lao Tzu, Stephen Mitchell translation. Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford. Living Inspired by Akiva Tatz. My kitchen would suggest I'm a closet carny, as would my love of Branson.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Do you ever blog anymore?

Someone asked me recently if I write anymore.  I write a lot but I don't share a lot.  Here are some things I write about and then don't post.  Or things I want to talk about but feel I should not.

Gaza and Israel...
Depression...
Sex...
Divorce...
Racism...

None of those topics are related to each other for me.  The first is a problem I puzzle over daily until I have to tell myself to stop thinking about it.

The second is something I want to write about because I think it's a topic that needs to be exposed completely.

The third is just interesting to me - I could write about that every day, but it seems so unacceptable.

The fourth topic is something I want to write about out of frustration and pain but there are too many people involved.  That will never be my story alone to tell.

The fifth is something that infuriates me beyond words.  I have unpopular views. I don't want people categorized by skin color.  I want to protect people against those who think it's ok to do that.

There are other things that I need to write about that I can't even list here.  I daydream about being able to blog about whatever I want.  I daydream about talking to people about the things I'm thinking about day in and day out.

Something I can write about...

Ever since I moved to my small town into my house with a big front porch I feel like this is where I want to stay.

I always wanted to live in a small town in a house with a big front porch.  I always wanted to live within easy driving distance to an ocean.  Walking distance to an ocean I never even imagined.

Every day when I come home I smile when I see my house and I feel happy that I live here, in this house in this town.

It even smells good.  The flowers planted in my yard and probably my neighbors yard are blooming all year round and it always smells pretty where I live.

But there are things missing in my town.  I think a lot about being a part of building things in Half Moon Bay.  I think about getting a loan to build a movie theater.  I have a lot of ideas about that. Japanese vending machines are involved.

I want to build a Jewish community here too.  I'd like to have a small space to worship and meet and I'd like us to have a mikvah.  Some of the kids think I should open a cafe or restaurant.  One of my kids says she will do this with me when she grows up and nothing would make me happier.

Really, I'm not much of a daydreamer.  When I want to do something I figure out how to do it.  The things I'm thinking about doing are bigger things than I ever thought about before so I realize I'm going to have to think for a while to figure out how to do them.

Maybe writing more authentically will be a part of it.  I went to a luncheon on Monday and met the most extraordinary teenagers.  I won't go into details about that just now, but I happened to ask one young man for advice on raising my son and he told me to teach Noah to be an open book and to share every part of himself, not to hide any part.  I keep thinking about that.  

Is this a luxury only a child could have?  I have a feeling it is not.  I'll keep thinking on it.




1 comment:

Honey badger baby said...

I have depression. The de habilitation kind. I've had it all my life. Robin Williams death by suicide had a huge impact on me. It made me realize hope deadly this condition is. It made me respect my own depression. I have depression, sometime I need help taking care of myself. It's ok.